No Sunlight

Life is going so well right now.
God is faithful.
School is challenging and enlightening.
I love the friends I've met at Malone.
I like a girl and she likes me back.
Van's birthday was excellent.
I found a pair of shoes that I thought were too small.
They weren't too small.
Fall break is ending, but it was awesome.
The weather was gorgeous today.
Yahweh gives and Yahweh takes away.
Blessed be the name of Yahweh.

College

So I go to Malone now. I'm really enjoying it a lot. College so far is better than high school in just about every way imaginable. I love the people and the classes and the dorms and everything. I think I might try to get back into this whole blogging thing, even if it's just for myself and no one reads it.

Untitled as of now.

The dust starts to settle in,
covering the shelves and the cluttered corners,
layered so thin that it can't be seen,
but only for a moment before you turn your head.
Suddenly surrounded by memories,
filling in the holes and the space within your mind,
but it's nothing to worry about,
there's still plenty of room left to walk around.
The clock slowly changes pace,
quickening its toll until the screws begin to loose,
the thunderous rhythm resonates,
and finally you realize, you can't escape.

God's Promises for every day

This book is amazingly helpful to the Christian life.

Re-Realizing

I always seem to find a way to forget about the peace I have in Christ.
Luckily, someone else remembered and reminded me before too long.
And then I remembered that it really is true. That no matter what I'm going through, whether it's hard or sad or confusing or whatever, there can be peace.
Because I know that in light of eternity, whatever is going on now is like nothing. A vapor, but dust, light and momentary affliction.
I am still eternally secure in the arms of grace.

Eternally secure.

More Confusion

I really just want to die and go to heaven.
I don't like dealing with things.
I don't like being the weak one.
I don't like failing repeatedly.
I don't like feeling depressed.
I don't like crying all the time.
I don't like wasting my time.
I don't like having no passion.
I don't like the way things are.
I don't like having such little faith.
I don't like waking up lately.

Praying for me would be an appropriate and very appreciated response.

Confusion

Leaf.
Falling.
Free.
Wind.
Scared.
Spin.
Twist.
Turn.
Jerk.
Branch.
Break.
Collapse.
Air.
Light.
Smooth.
Grass.
Soft.
Cool.
Safe.

I am not in control. My only actions are reactions. I have no power in myself. I am falling. I am entirely free. I am alone. I am held. I am a breath.

All I want is to be alone and quiet and still. But all I want is to be together and talking and fun.

Inside I feel so peaceful about life in its entirety, and at the same time I feel like contemplating each day leaves my mind a mess.

I have no idea what I'm doing right now, but I know what I'm doing, and I love it and I hate it.